Single and Ready to Mingle?
Simply Radiant Magazine
By Brittany Wallace
I was asked twice today “Britt, do you have a boyfriend?” to which I replied, “No, I’m single.” And then the usual follow up question comes: “So do you want to date or….?”
What kind of question is that? I’m 27, with a stable career, finishing my education, no kids and an obsolete sex life. Of course I want to date, but not for the reasons that society thinks I should. I want to date for marriage. I want to pursue a relationship with someone for the purpose of building something that is bigger and greater than the two of us. I want to change the world with someone who has even bigger dreams and goals than I do. Sounds great right? Here’s the kicker: the next time that I have sex will be on my wedding night and I will not compromise. That’s it. Done deal. No questions. Although I’ve been severely tempted and have struggled with complete purity, I have been celibate (sex free) for three years. This is the TOTAL opposite of the way I used to live. I lived the young, wild and free life for years and after a while I realized that it wasn’t getting me anywhere except hungover on my friends’ couch, scrolling through embarrassing Facebook and Instagram photos/ text messages on my phone then marking those nights as “memories”. I knew that I needed something more.
So now that my dating life has done a 180, I’m able to see the plus side of celibacy until marriage. I can avoid the guys who are only out to get one thing from me, and easily weed out those who have such a lack of self-control that they think that it’s normal to be led on a leash by their sexual desires into relationships and one night stands.
Do I get lonely? Of course I do. This is all coming from a girl who was a serial dater that didn’t like to be single EVER (*In my mind, because of patterns that I watched growing up, me + boyfriend = successful, me – boyfriend = failure). But I’m not sitting around waiting and hoping for a man to come into my life either. I’m focused on serving the Lord, going to school and maintaining relationships with my friends and family. So for now, its literal “Netflix and chill” in my apartment when I feel like binge watching a series, or having my girls over for a movie night.
Please be clear, this post isn’t me saying “I’m single, happy about it and I don’t need a man!” But rather, a testament to how I’m feeling about being single in this phase of my life. My outlook could very well change with each passing birthday, and the constant reminders from Facebook friends that I am nearing 30 with no husband and no kids. But today, right now, I’m okay with where I am. I do believe that God has someone for me, and I trust that His plans for my life are good and perfectly designed by Him- and if that plan means that I don’t get married for another 10 years or so, I’ll have to learn to adjust and continue to trust in His plan for me.